who i am
I remember writing my first piece, I remember the sheer disappointment when a friend of the family was unable to play that very first piece...
I have to admit I must have been 6 or something, did not yet play an instrument, did not read notes, knew nothing about any of it and for that reason also did not how to write it down. Just knew I needed to somehow write down what was in my head.
That has never changed.
My mum helped me somewhat later once I started piano lessons to read up on different musical forms and gave me the confidence to start writing my first real piece.
Soon a study at the conservatory followed together with my sisters and nothing else seemed to matter anymore. Music was all there was. However, studying the piano definitely took priority over writing music for many many years. And though I would have loved to be able to write more during those years, I don't regret what those years of intense piano playing brought me.
I absolutely loved the concerts, the tours abroad with my sisters, ensembles and orchestras, the masterclasses, the competitions.
Stressful, yes, were there times I thought I wanted to do something completely different, yes, but how I loved it and how grateful I am for all those memories.
Studying composition, studying the piano, to me it has never been about those specific disciplines, or about classical music for that matter. It has always been about creating, making seemingly impossible things happen, communicating, being a musician. So of course I wanted to learn new things, new instruments, explore new directions as much and as often as possible. Not always the easiest way to go around in the strict rules of classical academy teaching ;)
But this is who I am, this is the way I'll always be. Whether it is writing an orchestral piece, finding new ways to teach someone who's socially awkward to express themselves through music or inventing a new soup, I'll always look for ways to create something new. This is what music brought me, or maybe this is why I choose music to be my language.
